Well, I would say self-hate is real. Sometimes, I feel worthless and like everyone has success relatively easy, but I am doomed not to.

I have no savings, and I only receive benefits. Then I squander it all on mostly movies that I do not really need, but collecting things to me is an obsession. Like even if I did put money aside and promised myself to be sensible, what would it be spent on?

For years, I was bullied and felt low. Something come along for a few years to distract me, but then it was not to last. Now my life has been drastically altered. It feels like I wasted too much time and energy on fruitless pursuits.