I'm so sorry about you suffering like that!

There are meds that work pretty well on OCD... like Zoloft, Prozac, Citalopram and others...

CBT-Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is known to help a lot of people. I went through CBT for about a year and got rid of a lot of compulsions. It's hard work... but so worth it!

Feel free to pm me if you like.

You can get much better!!! Have faith!