Hello everyone. Let me admit that I have spent some days browsing your forum; and hence, I am here. I was diagnosed with bipolar when I was seventeen, after having been listed as having depression and ADD (I know now it is ADHD; for me, it was ADD) since I was twelve. Of course, this miracle diagnosis that would explain my unending rage, my mood swings, and my other frightening conditions was not first noted. In fact, one doctor declared I had schizophrenia, which had me convinced I would spent my life in a hospital.
Fast forward the years; on and off medication, on and off therapists, and the same old, same old. I began to question my doctors; could I have ultra-ultra rapid cycling BP, because sometimes the mood comes and goes so quickly, I hardly have time to notice it. One doctor after another, after another. In the course of my travels, I had a doctor who mentioned I have borderline personality disorder. I fell into my patented rage, insisted I was not crazy, nor did I have multiple personalities, etc. I left. And now, I have received the diagnosis a second time, and actually researched it.
It seems to confirm so much, but of course, the entire premise of this issue is at odds with my external, strong persona. I need no one and nothing, because I am a tough girl. After some soul searching, therapy, and research, I am wondering if I am as tough as I always believed myself to be. This revelation, and some memories that I never believed I had, have made me reach a point that I simply need a bit of support, guidance, and of course, more education.