So two things happened ill try to explain. Both in this post last night went to the movies to see batman before the movie my two cousins and two siblings were in the car talking and I started feeling like an outcast cause. No one was talking to me.i've always felt this way in my family.my older sister and cousins left me out a lot and bullied me I was constantly competing for the affection of my sister but she hated me back then. And loved my cousins aunties also picked favorites I feel it used to be all about my older sister she was the star child until recently when the adults took notice of the rest of my siblings except me now no one notices me and in the car it made me feel bad.
Then after the movie I started having those thoughts like if I could get away with suicide I totally would do it then I thought I could get away. With it cause the only reason I. Fail is cause I seek help so all I'd have to do is be somewhere were I can't seek help in time I don't. Know if I'll do it or not I try. To say to myself it was just a thought but think I'm relapsing

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