I would go to financial counseling and have them help you set up a deduction of your wages every paycheque towards your child support. And i would have the counselor help you draw up automatic deductions towards your bills. I also would have the bank do that for you and the bank give you only so much to draw off of your account for cash and that be it. You need accountability and if you do not have that then you will not take seriously be responsible and it will affect your ever having your daughters. It seems to me your ex knows just the right buttons to push to make you act and feel the way you do. I am sorry for you having to live this. But i also know that in the state i live: if you don't pay child support they take you to court, they will garnish all your wages right off the top leaving you less than $100.00 a month to live off and they don't care. So if you do the financial counseling it can prevent you from having to go down that road. And if you don't care you can end up in jail for child support. It is not pleasant but with children that is how it goes. (((hugs))) I have faith you can handle the counseling you need to correct this problem. tc