Our defences are there for a very good reason. They help us survive, they are creative adjustments we have made to get us through difficult situations. Any t that tries to break down your defences is incompetent and I would run away from them as fast as I could!
Therapy is an unnatural situation, I mean when was the last time we told our deepest darkest secrets to a stranger. It's natural not to want to do this or to trust that it is ok to do this.

Building a relationship and building trust is paramount.
If after a few sessions Ellie jo, you still are feeling defensive and have a bad feeling about therapy I would trust this because you know yourself best and there is probably a good reason why it hasn't worked in the past. Some ts just don't work for some people.

I would try to be aware in your new therapy sessions of what is happening in your body, this is usually a good indicator of how you are feeling with a t. For example are you avoiding eye contact, are your hands fidgeting, are they sweaty. Is your stomach quesy, is your heart fluttering?
Is your foot tapping or moving. What are these telling you?
A good t can see your anxiety or nervousness and try to reassure you that this is a survival mechanism for you.
I hope that you find a good t that can help you to find a way to monitor those defences and to see that they are helpful and serve a good purpose but perhaps they are working too much and stopping everything from getting close to you.

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