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Originally Posted by PinkFlamingo99
I'm a lot like this too, and no normal therapist ever helped me with this. Now that I have been referred up so many times, I'm in a program where everyone is pretty severely sick (to end up here you have to have been referred up at least 3 times), and they do a lot of this kind of support in therapy. It took me almost a full year just to get my eating good enough that I wasn't depending on iron shots. For me it helps to have someone help me do it slowly and also to hold me accountable. We worked out a meal plan (I also saw a nutritionist), and print out the sheets every week checked off *still* to help me with the eating. We added vitamins, meds, water, because sadly I needed that. One small cleaninh task a week or none if I still hadn't done one the week before, ideas to stop me from compulsively picking and being late. The slow pace, support, and the accountability helped a lot. Now we're adding in 15 mins exercise because the snow is melting and I'm unemployed. We also added in one "fun" activity and a list of things to relax (watch movies, color, etc), because I was so bad at taking care of myself I couldn't even figure out how to have fun at my worst. I bring in my mail if i'm nervous or too lazy to open it and answer it. I have gotten better, my physical health at least is much better. This week my honework was to go see a doctor about my faintness and schedule a pap test. Bit by bit. But it does help. My therapist helps me with all this, but within the hospital/medical model and at this level it seems to be common. Have you thought of trying to get a social worker? They're usually the ones who help with all this basic stuff. Maybe you could work with a social worker on the concrete stuff and a T on the self-esteem stuff that goes with it?
It's been a huge relief finally getting support in learning to take care of myself from the bottom up. You can know in your head what you need to do but have trouble doing it.
Maybe you need more help than they realize. A lot of depressed people have trouble taking care of themselves. It's also less scary to make small changes. I'm kind of afraid of trying to get better too.
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Thank you for being so understanding. I can relate to a lot of what you say. The issue about opening letters is a huge problem for me too at times when I'm not coping. It was really interesting to hear others have difficulties with things like that. I don't tell anyone that sort of stuff as I find it embarrassing to not be able to cope, let alone self destructing on top. I would like more help, but I also have a hard time letting people help me. Others being kind to me is sometimes as hard as me being kind to myself. I get quite fearful of being that vulnerable around others. But I genuinely appreciate you thoughts because they really spoke to me. Sometimes I feel I portray such a level of independence that people cannot understand that actually behind the scenes very little self care is happening or able to happen.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ex vivo
Sending big hugs to you.  |
Thank you ex vivo. I wish you'd left your post because I only got to very quickly read it before I had to go but I know it was helpful and I related to it a lot. I read it thinking - yep that is me, those are my problems. I'd welcome being able to read it again. I am looking for insight or help to move forward. But I understand if you don't feel comfortable doing that. Thanks for the hugs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by _Mouse
When it hurts enough....
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Mouse. I have to say that I found this quite callous. I'm not sure if you realised how this would sound to someone that is clearly struggling and wanting to change but finding it almost impossible. To say 'you're not hurting enough yet then' is really upsetting to read because I have been in pain for a long time and struggled forward despite it. Beside I have had those sorts of simplistic thoughts myself many times and for years berated myself for it clearly not being that painful or I'd change....but honestly I am quite a reflective person and I know that it is not simply about not being in "enough pain" anymore, there is something more to it than that. I thought you would understand that given your difficulties. All I ask is that you be slightly more thoughtful because I am in a lot of pain currently, it is very very bad. I don't reach out often but I need support , guidance, insights that help me move myself forward. My head with this is able to turn it to say "if you want to change then make it worse, hurt yourself further, maybe if you make it so bad you'll stop being a selfish ****** and hurting your family over your stupidity - you clearly need to suffer more".
Sorry, I think I got upset there but I need to be honest somewhere. I appreciate that you all took the time to read. I'd welcome any way to help change, and to be able to accept the kindness and support of others IRL. Thank you.