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Welcome! I'm not sure what to say to help you but I wanted you to know you're not alone. Many of us struggle with negative thoughts and ineffective behavior. Sometimes it helps to make a gratitude list wherein you list things that are positive in your life. It could be little things, like you got some sleep last night.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
-Albus Dumbledore
That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it
f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have.
-Garden State
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