Thanks, Quiet. I wasn't familiar with the Ring Theory before, so thanks for sharing. I like the idea of it. I figure I partly use individual therapy for that--to have a place to dump things rather than H or DD. I'm trying to explain to my H that it's OK to be frustrated, but I'd prefer if he didn't tell me about it. Sure, he can talk about his frustrations with his job with me all he wants, or about DD when she's not sitting right there (he tends to snap at her, too). But telling me he's frustrated about something that is just a part of me, that's something I'm struggling with, feeling bad about, and trying to work on--I just don't see how it's constructive for our relationship to share those frustrated feelings with *me*.

He does need to share them somewhere--yet the one friend he seems OK confiding in (who, incidentally, has an MS in psychology), he only sees once a month or so, and they don't really communicate otherwise. He has a bunch of other friends, but he really doesn't confide in them. Talks to his dad about some stuff at times. But not to his mom or sister. I think it would help if he had his own T, but I doubt he'd be willing to do that because he wouldn't think it's necessary (MC is really his first experience with therapy, though I think he saw a psychiatrist a bit as a kid for ADD stuff.)

And we do have some extended family around who will watch DD some, like his mom usually watched her a few hours one night a week so H and I can get dinner out and an overnight once every couple weeks. But she's not in very good health, and I know DD exhausts her. H's dad and stepmom, maybe once every two months, even thought they live close by (they're just really busy). My parents do an overnight maybe once a month, and we'll meet up with them sometimes besides that, but they're an hour away, and I often feel stressed visiting them (I'm an only child). H's sister lives about an hour away but, yeah, definitely wouldn't leave DD at their place for any extended period of time (she's married but their house isn't exactly kid-proof--when we were there for T-giving 2 years ago, various things I had to grab as DD was reaching for them included a car batter jump-starter and a bottle of the nicotine liquid for e-cigarettes).

T has said we need to find a non-family babysitter that we trust so that we can, say, go out on a Friday when our families aren't available or that could maybe help me out on one of DD's days off (I work freelance from home, which is another issue in the equation--if she's home, I can't get stuff done).

OK, I've gone on enough--it really helps to have this forum as a place to get empathy and understanding, too. (And to get a reality check if I'm being unreasonable).