This certainly is a tricky situation you have found yourself in. I think you must become aware of your personality traits that have caused you to enter into this type of relationship in the first place. You were in a hospital where other people, like yourself, needed professional help. Your natural tendencies came into play. You saw someone who needed help and you offered it. You probably have Empathy, Harmony, or the desire to help other people reach achievements as strong personality strengths. You only did want comes to you naturally and most likely looking back on your life experiences you will find that this has happened before with the exception being that this particular person needs more help than most.

The important thing for you to realize at this moment is that she requires professional help. She requires the kind of help that only professional doctors, therapists, and medication can offer. Remember, you are not most likely professionally trained to offer this type of help. Or are You?

In my humble opinion, based on own experience and similar personality traits to yours, it would be the best thing, in the end, to dissolve the relationship that has been created here. If in fact, she harms herself and has replaced the professional help she needs with your friendship it would be more hurtful to you than it would be for you to just put an end to it. The best help that you can actually give her is to steer her into the direction of depending more on the professionals at her disposal instead of yourself. She is not going to this while you are making yourself available, and in fact, her hand seems to need to be forced.

I think the only way you can steer in the right direction, since she is obviously not thinking rationally, is too break contact. Know that you are being the rational one here. You have stated, your recovery and well-being must come first and foremost to hers. This is the truest and most meaning statement you can make.

Please consider my response carefully. The decision can be only yours. Your wife seems quite rational as well. She is expressing her concern without forcing your hand to act in any one direction. Discuss with your wife the possibilities of what could happen. Is this woman hurting herself when she so obviously depending on the relationship with you and not seeking out the professional help that she needs as a result the worst thing that can happen? Consider you feelings as a result? Is that the worst thing that can happen to both her and yourself?