Hello Englishjay61: I've seem this post several times but thought I really didn't have much to offer. However, today it struck me differently. I'll tell you that I'm in my mid-60's now. But I've struggled all of my life with what nowadays would be called transgender feelings. Of course, for most of my life, the word "transgender" hadn't even been invented yet. So I just grew up hiding... feeling weird & kind-of dirty. (It's a long story...)

Anyway, a few years ago as a result of a number of circumstances which I also won't go into here I ended up finally disclosing my secret to the mental health professionals I was working with & to my wife. I thought the earth would move under my feet. But in reality... nothing happened. The mental health professionals in my life didn't really care. And my wife just wanted to ignore it & pretend like I was just the same old person she had always known. So, in the end, I just snuck back into the closet & closed the door... except that I came to feel exposed & foolish.

It's been a week now since you posted this Thread. Perhaps you've already done whatever it is you're going to do. I guess what I wanted to say here was, first of all, there's no telling what response, or lack thereof, you're likely to get from your wife... for better or worse. And, second, it may well be that your wife won't really care unless your telling her means that you intend to begin seeking gay sexual liaisons. And this may well make a huge difference in the same way that telling her you were planning to start seeking sex with other women would.

In the end, in my case, one of the reasons my wife was able to simply pretend my disclosure had never happened was because I think she believed (correctly) that I wouldn't actually do anything about the secret I had carried around for so many years. The "telling" of my secret was only of significance to her if I intended to actually begin doing something related to it. So, I guess what I'm suggesting here is, unless you're intending to actually begin pursuing a bi-sexual lifestyle, there may be no particularly good reason to disclose your "secret", unless you think that simply having it known will in some way make you feel better. As I mentioned above, in my case, I just ended up feeling exposed & foolish. I wish you well...