Freewill....you have had a difficult road to travel. You are a strong person for dealing with all of this and taking the risk to share it with us. I am grateful you have trusted us. I did talk about this in therapy for some time and it helped me make some progress--it helped me look at things from another angle and make the connection of how feeling "unreal," and having my feelings invalidated continues to affect me today. Your posts have helped me--I appreciate it. My trauma was real--it did happen--it can no longer be swept under the carpet--I will not ignore it--it is part of my reality.

You felt as if the pictures would reveal your "ugliness." You never were ugly and you are not ugly now. You were/are a precious child who was taken advantage of...However, I can relate to the feeling. I understand the "ugliness." I am grateful that I am sometimes feeling okay--that some of the ugliness is slipping away and being replaced with beauty and love. Yes, I still struggle, but I have hope that things will continue to get better and that some day, I will look in the mirror and see exactly who I am--not this lie I have been telling myself--I want to really, truly see me--just me.