Hi Yoda,

I can relate to the house...my last depression also turned my house into a pigpen. Fortunately, my best friend, who is also my ex husband, came and helped me. We spent a week using his truck and cleaning my house. That has been some time ago and my house is still in pretty good shape. When I am depressed it feels physically impossible for me to accomplish things such as housework, laundry and yard work. It is not because I am lazy--I just can't do it. I can't function when I get depressed. Yes, you do sound depressed too. Don't be too hard on yourself. Try to do what it takes to break the depression and then you can worry about the house. Well, in the mean time, try to keep the health hazard down to a minimum. I had to set little tiny goals for myself. Start small and tackle bigger things as my depression improved.

You have mentioned suicide--I think you have done it in some what of a joking manner...but if you really are having suicidal thoughts you really do need to get some more help. Are you kinda joking or are you trying to convey a message to us? Please, do what it takes to keep yourself safe. I notice you are online now--feel free to PM me if you want. I'll be on and off PC the rest of the morning. Again, please be safe--things will get better.