I'm sorry you are experiencing these fearful emotions around your partner Rabbit (((hugs)))).

I was in a similar relationship for a long time. I had alot of issues, with depression, anxiety and particularly with self-harm. I couldn't open up to him either, in similar fear of him shouting at me, even calling me names and punching things in anger, (and also like yours, kicking me out of "his" flat even though I lived there and all my stuff was there too).

In the end, I realised how emotionally abusive he was towards me, not just for not allowing me to open up, but for his actions and hurtful words towards me. Even if it was him that made me feel the extreme emotions I felt, he began to start twisting it to make it seem like I was crazy. He got away with alot of things that way. He was a very angry man, and I kept alot of things to myself which made my mental health deteriorate.I only began truly recovering when I eventually left him. It saved my life.

I am in a different relationship now - even though it has been very difficult for me to trust another person after what happened with my ex. Its been hard but im getting there. There is such a difference between the way we communicate, especially reguarding my mental health. He knows how to listen, even if it can be draining for him at times, and he has become my safe haven, someone I feel comfortable talking to about everything.

You should be able to open up to your partner in any relationship, and in a helathy one they should be able to listen and respond appropriately. The difference between the two extremes of my relationships has provided me with the comfort of knowing I wouldnt settle for less than what I deserved.

Finally, I believe my ex was so angry and responded in the 'fearful' way he did due to a lack and an unwillingness to understand. From my experience I also know that he will never change in his approach to mental health and other peoples emotions.

I really hope this situation resolves for you. Just remember you need that support, in order to recover.