Well I don't think I am really depressed, I just feel life is too hard to put up with anymore. I have problems and concerns but don't know where to turn to talk about them. I am taking ECT every 2 weeks that actually makes everything ok. It makes it feel like suicide is wrong when it really is the only way out. My life is really screwed up. I shouldn't complain, I have a full-time job, but I am finding it harder and harder to concentrate and perform anymore. There is stress associated with it, but the real stress comes from home. I have the means to commit suicide and definitely the reasons, I'm just so torn. If I stop ECT and taking my pills I think the end will be easier. Thanks for listening, I just needed to get it out.