Quote:
Originally Posted by tearsinabottle
Yes, he should be able to admit it. I dont know what to think of it. Right now I think he may be devaluing me. As he may had an intent or believed we would have sex if he came here. He didnt say that directly but he tried joke "are we today grown up" and "should we behave". In a playing manner. Then saying he is decent too. He sent mixed signals.
Three days ago he love bombed me, sorta, how happy he is to have found me, that he wants to see me, that I now had found "him", that he had been wondering about me, thinking of me, wondering where that girl ( me) was, how I could just disapper ( as he had been visting my father and his sister and I was never there, not one picture of me ), that I should visit him and him me, going on vacation together. We could have back all that was missing in Asia. He said "This" time it will only be me and him, no interference from his sister. As I wondered how he would react if his sister and my father knew he would see me again. He did show me empathy and compassion for me being thrown out. He made me feel so good, that he cared.
He told me he still have videos of me. I didnt know he had secretly video taped me in Asia, except for one time, as I saw the red light from the cam. It makes me anxious what videos he has. Its not funny if it should be something bad.
Two days now its been like he wants to ignore me. Yesterday he said he would call me today, but he hasnt, yet, and now its 9pm 
I was about to want to cry twice this evening, but did hold it in.
If he took contact only to love bomb me, admit what happened, get excited by that, then talk to me on phone 1 hour being empathic and so good to talk to, then tell me sweet dreams and love and to just not care anymore, I will believe he is another abuser, still, today.
I am feeling extremely vulnerable right now. And if he doesnt call me I would likely go in hiding for days. Like a little girl in the dark with her teddy. |
If you want my honest opinion, it's obvious he wants to have sex with you. He got a divorce, he's frustrated, he wants to take his frustration on you and I'd stay the he** away from him if I were you. You're not a toy, no one is a toy, you're worth more than that.
Sweetie, he's obviously a great talker and that's the signmark of great abusers. They know exactly what to say, what to do, to get the most out of their victims. He's playing with you, his compassion and empathy are just false pretexts to quench his thirst for vulnerable girls. If he genuinely missed you or truly felt compassionate about you, it wouldn't have taken him 28 years!! to find you.
Don't worry, it's only blackmailing, most abusers don't have the ba**s to leak videos. Even if he did, it's not a valid reason to give him sex in exchange of his silence. Make a case, filming someone against her consent is illegal. You see, he looks all tough but when you look at him with cold blood, he's not scary at all. He's not as intimidating as he looks. There are holes in his plan, he makes tons of mistakes, he's incriminating himself, really, he's an amateur! One tip, save all your written conversations with him, they could be used as proofs against him if you sue him.
Let it all out, holding it in is one of the worst thing you can do. Let it all out, it will make you feel great! You're all stressed out, you're upset, you're keeping a ton of bad feelings inside of you and it's hurting you. It's hurting you in many ways and the best way you can remedy with this is letting out all the bad feelings you have in you.
Please see through his game. He's only doing this to abuse you, again! If I loved a girl, I wouldn't wait nearly 3 decades to tell her ''I love you''. Real love is based on honesty, since he can't be 100% honest with you by admitting he drugged you, it's not real love, as simple as that. See, I demolished all he said in 2 sentences. He's an amateur. And I studied in psychology, it helps!
lol
Don't flee tearsinabottle, let out all the bad feeling you have in you. Keep talking with us, when you'll feel better because right now you're still too emotionally fragile, tell him all you have on your heart and cut bridges with him. You don't owe him anything, I don't know you personally but I can tell you one thing. I see huge, disgusting persons and they manage to have girlfriends/boyfriends. They're very NASTY persons and they CAN have relationships! You seem like a sweet girl, I don't see ANY valid reason why you couldn't have one when they do.
