So this girl I was seeing after seeing 2 different girls before both were not good for me, recently, because one I wasn't interested in and was bored immediately hanging out with her and her being awkward projecting her drama in the air of things I wasn't involved nor wanted to be involved in. The other was looking for something else, and was haphazardly was very reckless emotionally not aware of the actions she does is harmful to herself and potentially others.

This current one, I'm friends with benefits. The rules were strict and followed accordingly with ease. I'm having no temptation to make anything more or less of our time together. She may find a new guy later or she may fall for me later and it may be a relationship, which would be fine if I wasn't moving to texas. I live in northern ky ohioish area. The fact is, I have feelings for her and they aren't obsessive or negative, I'm just grateful.

I got what I was searching for in life, the confidence to learn about myself truly in the eyes of another. Not basing my beliefs on someone else, but more that she respected me a lot and I needed someone to show me how to emotionally let go and be happy. I did all the work on my own she had to show me what I needed to do.

She told me how people are fake and how they are and how I should be more adamant on my awareness of others. I think I learned so much in the past year to now it comes clear.

Even when we part and we don't see each other and her finding happiness somewhere else. She gave me all I needed to learn to be happy alone.

She only changed my perspective I couldn't see or grasp, because I had inklings of it never exposure to it's existence how people are.

Her connection with me is so deep on an intimate level as friends it helped me heal a wound I felt was impossible to heal before.

I'm aware I don't feel indebt to her or any guilt shame or anything obligatory just spending time with her is good enough.


She helped me learn myself what I couldn't do on my own before, because I was very very very disconnected with people period.

I don't need a relationship, like ever. I don't need friends with benefits. I will search for temporary love, stuff that's fun and focus on cutting all the drama in every part in my friends and relationships of everyone if present. That my goal is to not let others dictate me and that I never needed another person or love to give me encouragement.

I thank her for showing me what I was looking for.

I opened up my most vulnerable and it was easy for her to tear me up at my worst instead she chose to pick me up squat at my level low as I am and told me I'm perfect.

I didn't need anything else in life except that.