Quote:
Originally Posted by Lazarus16
If you want my honest opinion, it's obvious he wants to have sex with you. He got a divorce, he's frustrated, he wants to take his frustration on you and I'd stay the he** away from him if I were you. You're not a toy, no one is a toy, you're worth more than that.
Sweetie, he's obviously a great talker and that's the signmark of great abusers. They know exactly what to say, what to do, to get the most out of their victims. He's playing with you, his compassion and empathy are just false pretexts to quench his thirst for vulnerable girls. If he genuinely missed you or truly felt compassionate about you, it wouldn't have taken him 28 years!! to find you.
Don't worry, it's only blackmailing, most abusers don't have the ba**s to leak videos. Even if he did, it's not a valid reason to give him sex in exchange of his silence. Make a case, filming someone against her consent is illegal. You see, he looks all tough but when you look at him with cold blood, he's not scary at all. He's not as intimidating as he looks. There are holes in his plan, he makes tons of mistakes, he's incriminating himself, really, he's an amateur! One tip, save all your written conversations with him, they could be used as proofs against him if you sue him.
Let it all out, holding it in is one of the worst thing you can do. Let it all out, it will make you feel great! You're all stressed out, you're upset, you're keeping a ton of bad feelings inside of you and it's hurting you. It's hurting you in many ways and the best way you can remedy with this is letting out all the bad feelings you have in you.
Please see through his game. He's only doing this to abuse you, again! If I loved a girl, I wouldn't wait nearly 3 decades to tell her ''I love you''. Real love is based on honesty, since he can't be 100% honest with you by admitting he drugged you, it's not real love, as simple as that. See, I demolished all he said in 2 sentences. He's an amateur. And I studied in psychology, it helps!  lol
Don't flee tearsinabottle, let out all the bad feeling you have in you. Keep talking with us, when you'll feel better because right now you're still too emotionally fragile, tell him all you have on your heart and cut bridges with him. You don't owe him anything, I don't know you personally but I can tell you one thing. I see huge, disgusting persons and they manage to have girlfriends/boyfriends. They're very NASTY persons and they CAN have relationships! You seem like a sweet girl, I don't see ANY valid reason why you couldn't have one when they do.  |
I was a bit unclear about his being divorced. He divorced over 10 years ago. No children with her. The mother of his kids he only lived together with. I find it a bit weird why the kids live with him. Only thinking this because of what I know about him. I dont know how long he has been single.
He lived in Asia at this time, when the assault happened. We lived in different worlds. It was difficult to find me because of this. I had no address as I was just a child still. There was no possible way for him to find me as my father and this mans sister would never tell him where I was. I did ask him if he asked my father and his sister about where I was, but he didnt do that, telling me he would know they wouldnt tell anything. I believe in that, but it can also be something he just said to make me think he wondered about me.
We both got married and lived different lives, in two different worlds, he in Asia, me in Norway. He lives in Germany today.
But I know that he cannot have meant any words he has said to me and it hurts. He seems to abuse me again.
I know how sociopaths operate and it makes me think he may be one now, because sociopaths are those people who love bomb and say all you want to hear, they know what to say, and then suddenly when they have assessed you, if you can give them what they want, then they stay for abusing you and taking from you, and if they sense you cant or wont give them what they want, then they trash you like I used cleenex, like you never existed and without warning. Its really brutal. It makes me think he is one of these abusers or sociopath, who doesnt care at all how they hurt others. If he didnt want to hurt me he would have called.
I dont want to sue him. I am so tired. I know it couldnt have been love back then, but I hoped he would have some real care today. But it doesnt look like that. I know he is busy with work and 3 kids, but its not difficult to make that phone call if he wanted. He doesnt want or care. I guess because he wanted sex only, maybe, even he didnt say it right out.
He said he could get flight tickets on Sunday night, yesterday. I told him to let me know if he took that flight and he responded with "why". Like he was playing a game. He didnd come and didnt contact me at all that day. Sunday night I asked if all is well, he said he was in his sisters house. He then said he would call me today as I said I hoped we could talk. He has not called.
Its really bad of him to not call. He knows what he did and now he does this to me. How can he
My only reasoning why and how he can do this to me is to think he is another abuser.
Did he contact me only to enjoy and get excited about what he did ( beside the good things he said and that he called me ). I felt I had known him for years. And now theres nothing.
I only attract abusers. I only get attracted to abusers. Even the men who are on tv in reality shows, the ones I find attrctive are the bad ones. I know I deserve love and I wish love in my life. But it doesnt seem to happen with any of the men I am attracted too. I have no luck.