I've taken risperdal for about 16 months total, doses between .5mg - 3mg.

I kind of feel like I'm going crazy, I stopped it 4 days ago. Sometimes I've felt ok the last couple days but mostly feel like I'm about to explode (not anger, just that my insides are abouti to burst into a million pieces). It's kind of like the opposite of the hypomanic buzz that I get. WIth that it feels like it comes from deep inside me, radiating out like an energy field around me. Everything feels great and I feel like I'm made of gold. I'll probably win the lottery that night. I'm basically a genius, and feel this direct connection to source energy in the universe.

But this feels like it comes from the same place but is not a very happy or good feeling vibration. I feel agitated, not mad agitated just uncomfortable. I couldn't sit still or concentrate at work.

I don't want to take a dose of risperdal though it'd probably help me but I don't want that to the bandaid. I want off of risperdal, i've gained weight, I don't feel like I know what it's done to my body or my brain. I want to have my own thoughts and feelings without it in my system.

As I say this though risperdal has helped me numerous times to quell down manic symptoms. A few weeks ago I increased my HS dose and it settled me back into reality.

I took extra klonopin when I got home to help settle down. I can tell I took it now but I still feel in overdrive.

I take lamictal also, and have not changed that dose.

I'm not even sure what I'm asking I just am typing this out, I needed an outlet. Some of my friends I talk to about bipolar, some I don't. I don't like talking about meds with friends. I see MD and therapist in about 10 days. I changed jobs and haven't had insurance in March so I haven't seen either of them since Mid-February. Had been seeing doctor monthly and therapist every other week. We have talked about the risperdal, but in the context of starting Abilify.

For now I am considering this discontinuation syndrome and it will self-resolve within a few days. I'll take a little extra klonopin to make sure I sleep enough and I've always thought it has been a mild mood stabilzer for me.

Any input advice, etc is more than welcome, thanks for reading.