Sorry to hear you are having a rough time. I have no real experience I am afraid but can only offer my situation. What type of things are you wanting it needing that she cannot give? I have attachment issues you may say and actually started to attach to my T who, when I asked for her to hold my hand and help me connect and attach with her, realised that was what I needed and told me she can't offer it because she works for a charity and they do not fund it etc etc.

She has been very tolerant of this need though, actively telling me that I need to find someone to work with who will work with me using the attachment, nurturing touch, out of session contact, two sessions a week etc. So I have been asking new Ts upfront in my opening statement if this is a way that they work. Some do, some don't. Of those that do I see if I think we would fit, out of three so far only one didn't terrify me so I will see her again but I have another tomorrow.

I guess what I am getting at is that my T was confident that these needs were so deep seated and real for me that relationship progress was going to be better suited by having someone who could, in a limited way, meet these needs whilst working through all of the issues of my past and that she wasn't that person. To be honest, I emailed my T when I asked for it but the more people I ask about it the easier it is becoming and the less I feel (sometimes) that these needs are wrong or disgusting. Will take a long time for it to become dully clear to me I think but with time and practice I guess it gets easier.

Hope it helps in some way.