I'm sorry you're struggling. This is something I have talked about with my t often. She is very gentle with me when it comes up, because I invariably will start crying, it feels so vulnerable to talk about doesn't it? Over time I have been learning to be the mother to my younger self that I didn't experience as a child. It's not easy. But my t has had infinite patience with me, I often tell her she honestly has the patience of a saint. My intense feelings have gotten better over time. so much so that just a couple days ago in session, I admitted to her that I used to love her SO much that it physically hurt sometimes. I was never brave enough to tell her before. She thanked me for telling her now. I've been able to look at how I used to feel about her, and compare it to how my son used to love me when he was little, and it seemed so similar. Oh btw as a frame of reference I've been with current t for almost 4.5 years. I wish you all the best. This is tough work we are about.

ETA: I still love her and feel attached to her though!! That hasn't gone away. Just the intensity has. I don't think it'll ever go away completely.