(I'm not sure if Depression properly categorizes this as it could spill over into several topics. If this doesn't fit here, please move to the appropriate place on the forum.)

It's been some time since I've been here. Things changed, I was thought to have bipolar for some time until that was remedied to in fact be a significant case of depression. My depression has waxed and waned at times as I've dealt with it and treated it with medication. Those things only set the stage for what's been happening as of recently. About two months ago, on the streaming service Twitch, I came across a group of people that were very sincere and several had dealt with depression. Suffice to say I believed that I had found the friendships that I've lacked my entire life. As things went on they became wonderful but as their lives became more complicated and busy, I felt pushed to the side. Slowly my fears and events seemed to erode the possibility of a deep friendship, culminating on today when I decided to leave them alone for some time. I believe I've made them uncomfortable, trusted them too much and in doing so opened myself up to fully. I expected far too much out of these relationship and for that I feel selfish for exploring these friendships. Still, I was lonely and saw what seemed to be a beckoning hope that never before had been in my life. So I stand now wherever I am at this point in my journey.