UPDATE: after procrastinating more and more, I'm sitting at my computer trying to figure out what I want to do, and again the anxiety is hitting me and making my thought process very difficult. Finally I went back to looking at job ads for what I used to do before and have been trying to get back into for a while, but the problem there is the pay is ridiculously low. I make $12/hour at my current job and want to get something better, but most of the jobs I'm looking at are salaried and come out to virtually the same amount. On the other hand, if I'm going to be poor, at least I don't have to be at a job I hate, right? On the other other hand, I'm thinking the time has come to stop pissing around with this and figure out something that's going to get me some decent pay so I can start moving forward.

This is such a rotten cycle. I desperately want out of where I'm at, but I'm also desperately afraid of leaving my comfort zone. But I have to resist the urge to say "screw it" and go to bed or watch TV or whatever.