Quote:
Originally Posted by sophiesmom
There are times where we repeat our parents' bad behaviors. Hopefully we catch ourselves in the act and don't do it too often.
There are also times when we absolutely see what's happened to our parents and vow to all that is holy that we will NEVER do that to our kids.
Hopefully, the latter is for the really bad stuff... and the former for easily forgivable parenting mistakes.
Don't forget that we are combinations of both parents, just as future generations will be combinations.
|
Absolutely!!
We do have capacity as humans to learn from our parents mistakes.
When I became a mom, I would say that I might not know what to do, but I certainly know what not to do.
Yet, I also reached a pinnacle where I knew that I needed to address certain things about my upbringing, was dealing with much more than just childrearing, but reentry of my father into my life after a decade of not wanting him in my life because he can bring a toxicity, was dealing with alcoholism affecting my marriage with his moods also part of the equation later going from emotional darts to physical , was dealing with a needy mom then as I was butting heads on being my own woman/mother she fell ill, so there was not just that, not just my upbringing, my own health issues to address.
I wouldn't have it (exception aside) any other way.
Dysfunction in childhood doesn't automatically mean there's no capacity to be a parent.