I have maternal feelings for my T too. It sounds like your T used to give hugs but doesn't anymore. That must be very difficult. My T doesn't do hugs, though I wish so badly that she did. I think it would be a good idea for you to find a T who specifically does do these things you need and will be able to work with you and the attachment without having to refer you to someone else. I understand feeling terrified of a T leaving too. I'm often worried my T will leave for some reason or another, and that idea is devestating. I'm sorry you're feeling so much pain, and I hope things work out!

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