I first want to say, I'm unsure of whether the beast is destroying my friends and family around me, or its me mind controled by the beast. The beast is the depression. For about a year now, I've had EXTREMELY difficult social anxiety. The friends I make whom are so supportive are pushed away. The pain in this is unbareable, I have several frriends here on PC I feel I'm pushing them away and I dont know why??

I want to apologize to you, please don't listen to me, stay with me, stay please!! This hurdle will be over...It won't last forever. I seem to take advice in a bad away at times, I don't relise the LOVE and compassion around me. I dunno what to say,..its my doing..but I don't know why I am doing it...am I scared?...am I brainwashed that the world hates me?...I don't know..but something...that something is the beast..he's changeing my thoughts....or am I making excuses is it the real me doing this?....

I feel like a horrible person for posting this......I'm so..pathetic and selfish...GOD SHOW ME WHAT I HAVE! Let me know they love me,..and don't let me push them away!...Bless you all...Stay with me.