Hey everyone, thanks for the replies. I found out later that week that I had mono, so it made all my symptoms that much worse.
Oh- and the valium didn't work at all. I'm off of it now, but I'm still having trouble sleeping and staying asleep.

Anyways,
I'm still not doing great.
I have trouble living, if that makes sense. I want to go out and visit with friends, I want to draw and read books and play games, but I can hardly even manage to be mentally present in a simple conversation.
I feel like a spectator. The best way to describe what I'm going through right now would probably be that I feel as if I am just going day to day without contributing anything.
Even when I do something that makes me happy, it's right back to depression again.

Not gonna lie, I've considered drugs, but I've decided against it in the long run. I just really want to know what I can do to help myself long-term... Even doing fun things I want to do still leave me feeling empty by the end of the day. And meds are essentially nothing more than a joke at this point.

I'm thinking what might be contributing to it is my severe lack of vitamin D. We found out in the same blood test where I tested positive for mono that I was almost devoid of vitamin D, along with very low levels of B-12 and Calcium (which I am now taking supplements for) Thing is, even though I live in Florida and the sun is always shining, I never have enough time to go out and soak up some sun. And my gut just straight up refuses to absorb vitamin D from food, so I feel like I'm stuck.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯