Thank you for all your responses. I appreciate each and everyone. I understand what all of you are saying and I know that what I am thinking is selfish and will hurt other people. For that I am very sorry. I wish I could see a way out of all this without thinking about suicide but my options are limited. I have tried hard my whole life, babysat a dozen kids when my kids were little and worked two jobs when needed. Worked through medical issues with minimal time off, hell I go right back to work after having ECT in the morning. I'm tired and now I'm overwhelmed too. My husband doesn't know how well he has it because most people wouldn't put up with things that I have. Now I am just tired....among other emotions.