Hi Seeking --

I believe that there is research available about the successful ingredients for a relationship. If you are "shopping," you might want to look into it. I'd avoid the "Cosmo" and "Glamour" magazine articles, which can distort the research, even while citing it.

I also think you are wise to think about this. Sometimes people get so caught up in the dizzy rush of "falling in love," which is mostly a pheromone rush, that they forget about the long-term factors that ensure compatibility. Our culture idealizes *romantic love."* And we have one of the highest divorce rates in the world.

Sometimes the person who will make a good life partner is not the one who sweeps us off our feet. "Slow and steady wins the race" as the old saying goes.

The idealization is a recent development, and is culture bound. Families who chose the spouse, to better the family's position in society or to make a familial alliance, still prevails in some countries and cultures.

The idealization of romantic love is especially strong in pop culture. During the period last year immeiately after end of long term relationship, I could not listen to popular radio because all the tunes are about falling in love with some idealized partner. And country rock is about breaking up with the idealized love partner.

Read Marianne Williamson for an interesting spiritual perspective on loving relationships. She has 2 titles out, but I can't think of them right now.