Quote:
Originally Posted by lovelypher
I am a freshman in college and I feel like my life is just an endless pit of sadness and anxiety. I constantly want to go home, I feel like I'm going to fail at being an adult, and I don't know who to turn to. I see a therapist every week and I am also on meds but they don't seem to be working. I can never calm myself down and when I am physically alone at school I can't handle it. I feel like I have no friends here and I feel like I am such a baby for wanting to go home all the time. When I am here I am not happy, when I am home I am happy. My family is the biggest support group I have.
I am also so stressed out with exams. I have so many coming up and I just don't know how I am going to pass them with all this worrying on my plate. I worry about my future, my lack of friends, if I will ever be happy again, if I can handle adulthood, if I will always be anxious and depressed. I feel trapped. I don't know what to do or which way to turn.
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I have been where you are. I hope you can try this. Set aside time each day to prepare for your exams. You might think you can't because you are so busy feeling awful, but set aside your feelings for an hour and just read your text and the notes, go over old quizzes, look at the handouts--whatever it is you have from each class. Try to do this for 2 classes a day. Then after the study time is up, get some fresh air. Go for a walk or bike ride, dance to music, work out. If you feel you need to do more studying, go back and study for another hour. Then stop and do something pleasant: watch tv, write emails to family and friends; etc.
What I am encouraging you to do is to manage your time productively and pleasantly. Then long term, consider if you'd really rather go to a school closer to home. Before you automatically say "no!" because so many college students think everything school related is set in stone--really think about what it is you want to do for yourself to make a happy life for yourself. Maybe you will decide to stay where you are--but you'll feel better about that choice.
I know it is hard to break habits. But your habit of worry and stress is not helping you. Chip away at it by re-directing your energies in a positive way (studying, getting exercise, and pleasant diversion for your mind (relaxation is important) and keep up with your therapy and meds and I think you'll feel better. By the way, if you really think the medicine is ineffective, make sure to discuss that with your doctor. Sometimes it is a matter of dose, or switching to another prescription and for that you need the aid of the doctor.
Courage! You can do this.
