Sorry it took so long to respond, but I'm of the opinion that you shouldn't hide who you are...especially from your spouse. I've been through a 30 year rollercoaster....from my teen years I identified as gay until I met my wife. I never planned or wanted a heterosexual relationship....and our marriage does not revolve around sex, though we are intimate.

The thing is, I told my wife I was gay right from the beginning...three weeks into the relationship, and months before our marriage. For ease, during most of my marriage I identified as bisexual to make it simpler for anyone that mattered. Recently though, I came out as gay, because really...I'm gay except for my wife....I have no interest in any other women, but lots of men. Even though we are not changing our marriage and I don't seek to have relations with men...it's been easier on my wife since she's known for two decades that I prefer men. So telling her "I'm gay" is just an affirmation of the previously disclosed fact.

The longer to hide, the longer to pretend, the harder it is on you and the hard it will be on your wife and family if you eventually decide to pursue your homosexual side.

Just my two cents.

Good luck.