I dont know how much respect he has given his wife or the mother to his children. That one can only speculate about.

I need to work with myself more than I have. What I do is I dont let men run over me. I can talk with men I like, but I dont let anyone use and abuse me. The same goes for this man too. I will protect my feelings and have told him I dont sleep with him or someone I am not in r/s with. He knwos I have a lot of experience with sociopaths. I said clearly to him I am sure of myself no matter what he thinks of himself.

I know that it doesnt matter I am sure of myself if he would be a brutal man, but I am about 99% sure he will not harm me. I dont know why I am sure of that, but I am. Its the gut feeling I have about him how I see him today as an adult. Of course they can fake and come across as normal. Still I am very sure he wont harm me even the fact he did when he was 20.

Some rapist will rape again, some wont. I think him coming from a rape culture and that he now has lived in Europe for about 20 years or more, I dont think he will assault.

If I find a therapist then my attraction to abusers and attracting abusers is absolutely something I would need help for.