I really don't understand you insisting on seeing this pdoc as a therapist despite the fact he is not good, isn't helpful, doesn't want to provide therapy and in fact is damaging as TRIGGER you felt suicidal partially because of him and to top it off he is way too expensive as he charges you an arm and a leg yet doesn't help you!!!.

You honestly aren't getting any better with him. Is there any reason you won't try to see actual therapist? The one that will help you. Could you at least try to search for one? Where do you live? I think anyone is better than this dude

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