im glad that the ativan did something for you, i have taken it before and just didnt feel anything off it at all... but i guess my system is pretty strange when it comes to those things

we all want to feel better, but getting motivated to take those steps is tough... because its hard to believe that anything can help... but i have faced so many life changing belief changes that i've kind of learned not to believe in anything... just gotta do things... i like that saying yoda has - there is no try... there is only do and do not...


failing doesn't mean not doing... or accomplishing what we wanted.. cant fail until we stop "trying" .... then we are not doing - when we stop trying...

our minds can complicate things so much sometimes... i just try to "un-complicate" it by stripping away all of the layers that i wrap ideas in... leaving the core... the action that will show results... obviously i have a problem thinking of what to do because im stuck here too... but its different for everyone, we have to personalize our approach - my mind has gotten really good at fighting these advances from me... so often i think im doing the right thing only to turn around and be like, what was i thinking? tricked again!

i turn my brain off quite alot anymore... its not peaceful, its not chaotic, it just is not... i guess thats why my memory doesn't work because im not "conscious" sometimes.. or semi conscious, im aware but my brain is like "haha you wont trick me this time! *shuts down*"

know what i mean? i dunno if its a good thing or not but maybe you could try to do that... i dunno how i do it its been happening to me for so long... it doesnt make me feel better - it just makes me detach from the world and problems in a sense... i know they are still there but its like im not - eh i dunno how to explain, i am pretty crazy

i think your job is great... helping people makes me feel great...
i dont think that its so much your job causing these things... but something else going on in your mind that is... have you tried doing any soul searching..?
try to get to the root of what the anxiety is to you... dont do it constantly or too much because you dont want to aggravate it but maybe just try to take a few minutes when you are in bed at night to explore what anxiety is to you... its part of us so we have to try to understand it so we can make it better...