Hello linsin: Well... the Skeezyks is probably not the best member to be replying to your post since he is, in essence, an old man. But I saw that no one else had yet replied to your post, so I thought I would.

You don't mention, in your post, if you struggle with anxiety in other areas of your life too or if it is just with regard to intimacy. This may or may not make a difference. But it is, I would think, something to consider. From my perspective, I don't know if there are any specific pointers I could suggest. This is perhaps a tendency on your part that would best be addressed with a therapist who could help you to delve into why it is that you have this reaction.

Beyond that, since you are aware of your tendency to do this, I wonder if it might be helpful if you could learn to express this to your partner the next time you find yourself in this type of situation. If you could let your partner know that you have this concern, & possibly suggest some ways in which he could help you to feel more at ease (for example: take things slow & easy) this might help you to feel more comfortable. Plus it may make your partner less likely to become frustrated with the relationship, because he'll have an understanding of what it is that is going on with you. If you feel you cannot do this, then this would be another good reason to seek out the services of a therapist.