Beside my shyness, I've spent my whole life focusing on education and career, and have avoided/ignored the social life completely. I ended up alone and lonely all the time, and since the social life requires one to experiment, in my age experimenting right now with others would be embarrassing. This imbalance in my life has brought to me depression, which reinforces my loneliness by isolating myself. Not just that, I feel I'm in a downward spiral that I will eventually lose everything I worked so hard for.