Quote:
Originally Posted by Bipolar Warrior
I identify with almost all of it. I know I'm hypomanic when I can't sit still; I'm on my laptop and I can't keep my legs still. I feel agitated and fidgety. I often feel like hiding in my room because I know I am in what I call "troll mode" where I feel like I want to bite people's heads off just because they exist.
Also, I usually lose my filter - you know that thing you have that stops you from saying every thought that pops into your head? That pretty much just disappears, so I will say things I normally wouldn't because for some reason I can't seem to stop it from coming out. I also feel that pressure to keep talking, even though I am actually driving myself insane with it. I think I need to shut up, but I can't.
My mind also does the jumping from one thought to another thing, or it just feels like everything is spinning into nonsense and I can't concentrate on anything. My hypomania episodes are hardly ever pleasant experiences. I don't become productive, I feel on edge and become unpleasant. Fortunately they mostly just last for a week or so. Or maybe not fortunately, as I usually then plummet back into depression, but at least I feel more sociable when I'm depressed. It's easier to hide, even if it still sucks, you know?
Anyway, you are most certainly not alone. 
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Yes! I get into that "troll mode" as well, and I seethe. I'll do it quietly, but anyone can tell. Or I'll have a ridiculous reaction to something that's relatively benign, out of nowhere, and suddenly I'm agitated and wish I had a flamethrower. Or become the flamethrower. And I've been really afraid of losing my filter this week, since last Friday.
God, I am really identifying with you -- especially with the feeling that everything is spinning into nonsense -- I think that could be what causes a lot of agitation, maybe, that sort of mental confusion. Thank you for responding, you've given me a lot to think about.