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Purple Heart
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Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 346
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Default Mar 30, 2016 at 09:36 PM
 
Hi ruesia

Ok there is significant issues here.

Firstly, whose life are you living? Your life or your aunt's? I get the impression you and your husband are 'people pleasers'. This means putting your needs second in order to keep other people happy. The first thing you need to do is communicate with your husband. Tell him how you feel about your aunty and that you don't want her living with you. Get him on your side then both of you talk to your aunty. I get the impression you seem very unhappy having your aunty there. So you need to 'act' on your feelings with your husband by your side and express how you feel to your aunty. Yes you have to confront her but you can do it in a polite and assertive way without yelling or getting angry. Use 'I statements', 'I don't feel comfortable having you live with us' or 'I'm not happy you living with us and I want you to find your own home'. Using I statements reducing defensiveness of the other and allows for clear and direct communication with the other person. Remain firm in your decision even if she tries to manipulate you by crying or laying a guilt trip on you. As I said, it's your life and you're entitled to decide who lives with you. If you're not close to her, why have her living under the same roof as you?? Kick her out asap and don't let her move into your new home. I hope this helps!

PH
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