Yes! I feel like I'm on cocaine sometimes - and the wonderful thing about it is, the good part lasts longer. At least for a few days. Usually though, it goes sour real fast and I tend to get "rages," as a friend put it.

I kind of understand what you are saying, about feeling like you are acting normal for the first time. I think I've gotten a better handle on things over the past two years, and am learning how to modify certain behaviors. Still, when this happens, it's still a surprise and I'm not quite sure how to handle it. I've lately been finding it hard to keep up with my thoughts, and they keep colliding, but I feel so inspired and I love it. Even the negative thoughts seem inspired. I can't explain it.

I think on a scale from 5 to 10, 5 being normal, at the moment I'd rate maybe a 7, sometimes closer to 8. But that's just the past six days. I think I might cycle a little rapidly.

I think Bipolar Disorder is something that can gradually progress in some, maybe as stressors are added through life. But I also think that the more insight you gain, the better able you are to cope with certain symptoms and modify behavior accordingly. I had to tell someone today that I couldn't discuss a certain topic with them because my interpretations and perception of what they were saying caused some paranoia and frustration in that regard on my end. In the past, I wouldn't have been able to articulate that, and would have jumped to a firm conclusion and become a wall of silence until I forgot what I was mad about.

So yes, I think you are right about the insight part, definitely.