Hi,

I have some questions - if there is anyone out there to answer this, I would be very grateful.

First of all, a little history of myself. Looking back, it seems as if i have always had an e.d. Probably was pretty anorexic for around 5 years and then left for college last year. no one really asked me about an ed because i always ate something when i was around people, just never ate any other time.

At college, an e.d. - anorexia- seemed impossible to hide. I was always eating with people and the people began to notice that i didn't eat anything. So then my friends had a 'come to Jesus" talk with me about eating.

I then began to eat, yet was absolutely scared to be the fat kid coming home from college. After eating a so-called normal meal, I was terrified. I felt as if i was going to gain 25 pounds. So i went to the toilet and puked.

And this is how the next 9 months went. I would puke four or five times each day. My throat killed and I gained weight like crazy. I went from 130 to 170. yes i am 5'10".

Would I rather be bulimic or anorexic? anorexic definitely. bulimia is horible. I couldn't sleep, i was hungry all the time, my face and body were extremely bloated and i was addicted to puking. it gave me such a release.

I knew i had to change my ways, so spent the summer working to get better. I am pretty shy and uncomfortable about talking about my problems, so I did this on my own.

I am proud to say that I haven't puked now in about two months. The beginning was as hard as hell, but it honestly hasn't gotten too mucch easier.

Now, for my questions.

-From bulimia and puking, I feel that my face is still really bloated looking. does this ever go away?

-Whatever I do I can't lose all the weight I gained while bulimic. Yes, however unhealthy it was, I would work out this summer for like three hours a day (cardio) and I still haven't lost any weight.
suggestions??

-Everytime I eat something I wouldn't have eaten before, i look for the bathroom and want to puke. but i haven't. do these urges ever go away?

-I was out to eat with my friends once at this unhealthy restaurant where everything is fried. my food came, and i just started crying. will I ever be able to eat normally again?

-I haven't got my period in like three years. I thought that when I gained weight, i would come back. What is going on?

What permanent damage do you think i have done?

Gosh, thanks much for reading this and any answers to my questions or suggestions would be great.

thanks again,

KatyQ3