Thread: Memory
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Old Mar 31, 2016, 12:00 PM
Icare dixit's Avatar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bluebicycle View Post
I have ADHD. My working memory sucks. I even did a neuropsych eval and the psychologist said (in a nice way) that it sucks. When I'm depressed, it gets even worse.

My long-term memory is good, though. That seems unaffected.

It's hard to say if medication has made my working memory worse. It's already bad in the first place, and I don't think it can get much worse. lol
Interesting! Do you use any psychostimulants/meds for your ADHD (I can't see your signature right now)? Do you think they help your working memory, in that you have a more stable set of ideas/memories, more focus?

Anxiolytics/antidepressants might be detrimental a bit, I think: it makes you "float" a bit more, changing your thoughts/memory (but your experience might differ).

Considering your longterm memory, do you think you have easier access to negative/unwelcome/pessimistic thoughts/memories while depressed and likewise for mania (so easier/only access to optimistic memories)?

My working memory was also tested and mine was really bad, too. Antipsychotics have helped most to improve it, I think. But definitely also my general(ly) (improved) stability: it is less windy and floaty in my mind, so my clearly primarily affect-driven memory is more stable so that I can keep track of memories/thoughts/ideas.

I don't have ADHD, so I manage with coffee and (to stabilise more) nicotine/cigarettes.

Supplements have really helped with the residual "floating". I really need them.

My memory is also generally more impaired when depressed, which is (of course) very typical. I blame it on a lack of emotional "sight": emotional blindness in a affect-driven mind. Things have to take the slower, underdeveloped (memory-access-wise) rational route.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
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