WOW! This is an eye opener. My husband, I feel, is living with a "hurt or be hurt" mentality. He's always defensive, gets emotionally abusive and has punched a door. We've been married for almost a year. If he's getting comfortable, I think what's next? I'm scared of being abandoned, as I have been for so many years, and he's threatened to kick me out of our house....even started throwing my things on the front step.

My husband accuses me of the self-sabotaging behaviour. Maybe I do? I'm not sure. Maybe I'm thinking "hurt or be hurt" as well? Where is line of who is one way and who is another? This probably isn't helping but it really got me thinking.