Quote:
Originally Posted by bluebicycle
No, I don't take any psychostimulants. My pdoc won't prescribe them. He insists they'll make me "manic", so he won't even let me try them. That's partly why I'm looking for a new pdoc... I mean, my poor concentration, attention, and working memory have been hurting me at work, and my pdoc should be helping me instead of ignoring me.
And yes, I do have easier access to negative thoughts when I'm in a negative (i.e., depressed) mood. I think that's fairly normal, though. Likewise, being in a good mood brings back "good" thoughts.
I don't try to self medicate with caffeine or cigarettes. Caffeine makes me tired for some reason, and sleeping pills make me more awake. Never tried cigarettes.
What actually works well is Sudafed... but that's not a surprise. People make meth with that stuff. It's a huge stimulant.
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Nicotine just works for stabilising, not focusing (directly). If he really doesn't want to prescribe you stimulants than finding another might indeed be best (but have you tried "threatening" to leave?).
Interesting observation about negative memories/thoughts with depression, optimistic when manic. Yes it is very common (if not essential to) people that have depression and/or mania (and something in between maybe).
However, this could mean two things: that's just how everyone's memory works
or because our memory works like that we get depressed and/or manic. I firmly believe in the latter: (methods of) memory (access) is what determines whether someone is likely to develop BP, unipolar depression or SZ (or SZA).
What's more, I firmly believe the type of memory (as I described in the first post) is determined by the degree of memory performance/capacity: (bad) memory predisposes for a memory type which predisposes for a psychotic disorder (or ASD, in the other extreme case: different type and performance/capacity).
I believe not just our thoughts but our entire perception is equally shaped by our memory: a "bad" memory causes "bad" perception.
When I say performance, I mean the access method: more controlled access or less. However, I firmly believe the speed of access is higher with "bad" (our type of) memory.
That explains the speed with which we think and perceive during both stability and (more so during) mania. Only during mania (which in this context includes hypomania) our body can't keep up with our mind (and in case of true mania, rationality can't keep up with perception either): we (stumble and) fall and need to recharge, losing access to our emotions and to much of our affect-driven mind, thereby blinding us, clouding and filling our minds with the low-level anxiety of the charge.
Edit:
Bad memory (access) is most likely primarily caused by genetically determined (brain; different types and combinations of) toxicity and can be made worse by anxiety and substance abuse, resulting in the three main forms of psychotic disorder (six when distinguishing between severe and moderate, genetically determined, toxicity: prodromes early on or later in life and mutatis mutandis, onset).