Hi, Blurred,

I am curious about your situation, if you don't mind my asking. Is your therapist "in house" or someone you saw outside of the force? In my area, a lot of cops will go see the on-site counselor for PTSD, but that can be complicated. They're afraid to really open up to anyone on-site and most of the time it's situational, i,e., they go for a specific incident and not long-term analysis.

I have never heard of a cop staying over at a house for a victim. That was kind of you! The moment you took the call at her house and stayed the night, however, was when a dual relationship began and that's where therapy ended, IMO. It's understandable and you did nothing wrong but the therapist should have referred you out at that point.

A Client should never feel the obligation to take care of a Therapist. We care about them as human beings, of course, because we're human, but it's not our job as a client. Any therapist who seeks care or any kind of services from a client is not doing their job as a therapist. Period. Even in light of your situation as a PO, it still raises a red flag for me.

I'm not trying to wrong you or your former-T. There's nothing wrong with mutual affection happening but just be aware that at a that point - the therapeutic relationship needs to end and you will need to get therapy elsewhere.

I only hope you're still looking after the needs that brought you into therapy to begin with. Will you continue to seek therapy with anyone else? Will your T be able to refer you out to someone else?

What is your next step to take care of yourself?

Take care!