Hello TheFunkFox: I see this is your first post here on PC... so... welcome to PsychCentral... from the Skeezyks. May you find the time you spend here to be of benefit. I can't relate to much of what you are experiencing since I am riddled with guilt. But I do know, from personal experience, how difficult mental health struggles in general can be. So I hope that, in some way, you can get the help you need.