Thank you SO much, Alison This means so much to me. I'm actually in tears here.. And it made me smile when you wrote I wouldn't accept him judging people based on those things - I really wouldn't! It's true.. What he thought about me isn't who I truly am!

And the same goes for other people who may think badly of me now, doesn't it..?

I've been drawing a lot lately to get my emotions out. Looking at my drawings the other day, I realised that I think I will be 'acceptable' once I stop blushing and once I can be sure I won't have an accident due to my digestive disorder..

I've suffered from really bad chronic blushing since my early teens and had one VERY nasty incident in school where I was bullied quite mercilessly for it.. More recently, I've been dealing with very bad Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and having an accident has become a very real possibility..

When I had that realisation, I stopped to think, hang on, that can't be right. Surely, I'm good and acceptable no matter what? Even if someone thought badly of me because of those things, that doesn't mean I am what they think I am, right? I have this instinct telling me I should realise I am good and worthy to be living no matter what - that no matter what happens, it cannot take away from my worth..

The only thing I think makes some people better than others is the way they treat themselves and their fellow humans and other living things.. And we all make mistakes there, what matters is that we don't want to hurt anyone or think it's alright, and that we apologise when we mess up and learn to do better..