Hi. I have intense separation anxiety when I leave my friends and family on the West Coast and head back to my lonely home in COlorado. I have some acquaintances in the new place, but I am so lonely. Most people are married or coupled up, and I feel like a failure at age 44 in this arena. I get so attached to people, and yet I cannot attach to a romantic partner. I tend to either push people away who might be interested, or long for the unavailable charming guys. I feel a state of utter despair over my inability to find a relationship. When I am in a loving circle of friends, I don't feel the despair. I do have lots of loving friends on the West Coast, plus I am successful in work situations. I get along with people and have won 2 "spirit" awards at workplaces for giving positive energy to others. I just feel like there is something deeply wrong with me, that I am defective. I can't seem to shake this, and I worry that I project this to new potential partners. I am in therapy, and my dad left our family when I was 13 and died. I have severe abandonment issues, as you can see. Any thoughts?