Awww hun

I can't even begin to understand what you have gone and going through.

I dont know if the following will help or not but I am going to share it with you..

Alot of my T sessions in the past 6 months or so revolve around my husband he isnt doing well physically .. I am just so worried if something were to happen him I could not keep my home up , I have no idea where I would even go , No family to speak of ...he is one of a very small handful of people that care and love me.... It's really becoming a problem for me.

So my T said this ....... that grief really takes a year to really manage to get through.. as though as is possible that is .. Each season and holiday of any kind is going to hurt and hurt like hell ... He said that first year is important and he always tells people each holiday do something different than you would if your sick from a loss of someone you love with every bit of you.

Nights are a mixed bag for me , sometimes the quiet is soothing , other times is a bloody nite mare after nite mare.

I know if I didnt have my Dog I could at times literally go to bed and never come out. But he demands attention , Same as your son in some ways. DOgs just have that look in there .. They live Mindfulness to the max and I have learned much from my furry friend Sirius.. My Dog loves every bit of me , the good the bad and the ugly. Most dogs sense how we are doing even when we dont think so .. If mine is glued to me... He always knows before I notice that I could be heading into trouble.

So should you get a dog? Thats a tough one.. Maybe check with shelters see if you can foster a dog or a puppy.. You would get a feel for what having the responsibility would be.

Im always around for you