It sounds like the best thing for you would be to go in the hospital. I had to be hospitalized once and they took very good care of me and I came out feeling much better. They will NOT cut open your brain. They can't do that. What they will do is stabilize you on meds, which is what you need. If you feel like you're going to harm yourself or you are hearing voices or seeing things, go to the hospital. ((HUGS)) Things WILL get better.