You wern't dumb for trying. If you don't ever try you have no chance at getting closer to a 'normal' life (whatever the heck that is). That is really good that you gave it a shot. I know it didn't work out this time, but just trying proves that you are getting better. Your getting well enough to not let these things control you.

I am sooooo proud of you.

(((((((((hugs)))))))))